Friday, October 01, 2004

I Had a Vision...

I had a vision walking around looking for an inexpensive meal...allow me to share it:

The Debates not seen through filtered eyes (actually don't intend on watching them...peep yesterday's post for my reasons

So they announce the debates using the cat that announces fights. Usually the underdog get's announced first, right now it's hard to tell who that is. Since Bush is on the ropes for infinite reasons, bare with me...

The announcer says, "Let's Get Ready To Rumble," half the crowd cheers, the other half boo's. "We're in for a hell-of-a-fight," the ringside pundit declares. The crowd settles down and then the announcer begins the introductions. "Entering we have the challenger, weighing in at multi-billion, from Texas via Maine, the Crusader, the Misquoter, Mr. Jabber Jaw, George -The Dubya - Bush."

"Gangsta Gangsta" begins playing loudly over the sound system, except they got KRS to switch his words (at this point this can be arranged), so now the song goes "it's all about Salary not about Reality." Bush, wearing a Captain America outfit,promptly runs in high fiving all the cult members, I mean his supporters, lined up on the way to the ring, of course there's at least 5 black people en route. The fans are in suits, looking like Agent Smith, but also wearing white Nikes as an added touch (peace Heavens Gate). Bush enters the ring, shakes his neck, then get's directed to his podium. Karl Rove begins barking in his ear.

The Announcer turns his attention to the opposite entrance and chimes, "and entering the ring, we have [almost asking the crowd] the challenger, wieghing in at 75 bottles of Heinz, the Mummy of Matters, the Man who has Killed Motherfuckas and regrets it...sort of...John - the Truth...sort of but not really...Kerry.

John Kerry goes all out, entering in on a Swiftboat which is carried by people of all colors Cleopatra style, he's also fully decked in his Vietnam fit and is gun-point gesturing at the crowd.

Kerry is trying to duplicate the high 5's that Bush did, but the crowd is sparse on his side. Apparently somebody had some good weed, and since folks are really just waiting to see how old boy pans out, a lot of people hit the exits for a hot one. Kerry unphased, starts to pop his collar and purple heart, while electric sliding to the ring. Kerry enters the ring, looks down at Bush, then salutes the crowd before falling straight back ala Denver Bronco's in 99.

The debate begins.
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